sushi date

i met this guy online a couple weeks after a break up. i was looking for sex; he was looking for... who the hell knows... and maybe sex. after a few email exchanges, i invited him over for sushi. inviting men over is not normally my thing, but it worked out better for both of us timewise. we ate and talked in the kitchen. then we moved to the living room and talked some more.

he eventually offered me a back massage. i had been commenting earlier in the day that i was achey. everyone knows this is the universal male signal for "i'm going to try to get in your pants". i knew that going in, which is why i mentioned my back in the first place. this girl knows how the game is played. after an inner debate (he's cute. i'd fuck him. i'm just desparate. he's nice. we kinda click. eh just fuck him), i agreed to the massage. so we moved it upstairs

the massage was actually great, not the standard two minute rub followed by a trip south of the border. he was amused that i kept my bra on. i may love the horizontal mambo, but i'm still self conscious. somehow he convinced me to go topless... which led to making out... which led to that south of the border action

he was a bit overeager and rough while rubbing my clit. not entirely bad, but i was sore a few minutes later. i gave him head, and got a strange compliment. "i've never been with someone who didn't need at least one hand." yea, bitch. i am that awesome. after that, i was aching to fuck him, but he was super hesitant. i rolled on top of him a) for further coercion and b) to reach the condoms. he didn't realize what i was doing and minorly freaked out. so much for being sexy. i pulled out a condom, which calmed him but solidified his desire not to fuck me that night

we called it quits, got dressed and went back downstairs. the timing couldn't have ben better cause my roommate got home a few minutes later. T and i talked later in the week, but we never got together again. i was a little upset at first, but i got over it. my clit appreciates my decision to let him go

down the rabbit hole

halloween 2008 was a night of firsts. first time i dressed up for halloween in public since i was a little trick or treater. first time i'd been to baltimore for halloween. and the first time i'd brought a guy home with me...

i went out with J intending to only have a couple drinks then go home. too many beers and not enough food later, i decided to tag along when G swung by to pick her up. he brought his friend K out. we dropped off G's car at J's house then took a cab to fells point. spent a little time there before migrating to fed hill. going to fed hill there was inappropriate touching in the back of a cab. i ran into noble's to pee and lost J. on my way to look for her, i ran into K

"do you want to get out of here? go back to your place?"
"sure"

$50 cab ride (with quite a show for the driver) later, we stumbled into my apartment. he was a bit drunk so we fell asleep for a bit. woke up, took care of business and he left.

highs - hot guy in my bed, he didnt stay the night (no morning awkwardness), confirmed that ive still got skills
lows - he came on my favorite sheets, below average for me (although not the smallest), all about the booty

part of me wishes i had fucked him but he was too drunk for it to be any good. overall, im cool with what did happen. i really needed some trouble after those last few months of nothing

sweet dreams

sometimes i have these dreams... not really what i would classify as sex dreams but dreams with sex... the dreams always have the same faceless, generic person and similar scenarios

i am trying to accomplish something (menial things like making coffee), and suddenly he's there and i cant get at him fast enough. part of my brain is focused on the task. part of my brain is focused on fucking him. but there's never any actual sex. it's all foreplay and dry humping. i somehow have 5 hands; im tearing at his clothes and pouring water into the coffee pot all at once. never losing my balance (because im not quite standing) or missing a shirtbutton or anything.

he completely envelopes me and i smell taste breathe nothing but him. i want to mesh our bodies together so his ribs hold my lungs and my heart sends blood to the essential areas of his body. he's not just inside me; he is me... i dont know if i can completely describe what happens or how it makes me feel but i miss it.

i dont wake up feeling frustrated or satisfied by the dream. i just have this lingering feeling of closeness... of passion and intimacy

getting into trouble

i couldn’t sleep one night so i went on a walk around campus. i wound up at **** room, naturally he’d be up at 3am for no reason… and my trip was not entirely random. i couldn’t sleep because i was restless and **** owed me. while watching some dumb show, i convinced him to give me a back massage. there was some inappropriate questioning and the back massage led to him naked

after finishing with him, i couldnt resist teasing him a bit. people get somewhat ticklish after climaxing which amuses me to no end. so i kept running my fingers over his naked bits to watch him squirm. this somehow led to making out and me sans shirt

the only reason we didnt go any further was cause of my stupid brain. if id been thinking with anything else, id have fulfilled my purpose in coming over. instead… he asked if he should get a condom. rather than answer i continued doing what i was doing. my body said yes; my brain said maybe. he asked a couple more times. my body screamed yes; my lips said no. stupid boy asking questions. stupid brain answering

i still wish my brain’d been on board. i know he was not the most ideal partner for a few reasons but still. wouldve been fun