not grandma's house

sometimes you have an itch. sometimes you can't self satisfy that itch. sometimes you drive over the mountain and through the fog to get a good scratch...

so i met this kid online randomly when i was bored. he went to a college "nearby" so we had something to chat about. one thing led to another, and we decided to meet. he didn't have a car on campus so i drove the hour and a half to him. i packed an overnight bag "just in case", but left it in the car. didn't want to be presumptious... or had an easy out if he turned out to be no good. we hung out, watching a movie in his dorm room. i put on my best coy face, and we started making out. it was decent, but tottering on too aggressive. no big; i can work with that. naturally, i got his pants off. and i had my first hesitation

damn those are tiny balls

like seriously, almost nonexistant. if i'd been at the right angle, i could've gotten both in my mouth with room to spare. unfortunately, we were making out on a bean bag chair (yea. awesome college "furniture") so i couldn't really test my theory without being super uncomfortable. i got him off, and we started another movie. i was impressed enough with his dick to stick around for more. we climbed into bed... literally. he had the top bunk... and started fooling around again. turned on? check. condom? check. not in danger of rolling off the top bunk? check. excellent; let's do this :)

...

um... who ordered the jack rabbit? ...oh, you're done?

worst. fuck. ever. he was done before i even got started. i don't even think i opened my mouth, and i'm a squealer. good thing the lights were off so he couldn't see my wtf face. then he had the nerve to ask how it was. i think i grunted a fine, rolled over and went to sleep. being the nice person i am, i hung around for a bit the next day. however, i was not too concerned a few days later when he figured we shouldn't date. i forget his stupid reasons, but my pussy was happy

until i had an itch... and he was available that summer... so at 1am, i drove over my absolute least favorite mountain, in the fog, to meet him at his parents' house. i thought i was gonna drive over the side of the mountain and never be heard from again. what a way to die... en route to a booty call. because, apparently, i'm the boy in this scenario so have to do all the driving. once again, i should've known better. he was being shiffty cause his parents were home, and i couldn't be seen or some shit. so i met him behind his house, we drove down the street to find an empty parking lot and fucked in my backseat. the sex was worth it this time, and i actually got off in the parking lot of a laundromat. i think i even complimented him on his improvement. we chatted for a bit before i took his ass home *sigh* what a girl does to get laid. at least i can say i've had sex in the backseat of a car. cross that off the list :p

a week later, he was talking again about how we couldn't be more than friends, he was getting back together with his girlfriend blah blah blah. i liked him, but not that much. i was more pissed off by being his distraction while his (ex)girlfriend got space or something. i temporarily blocked him from my AIM cause he was getting on my damn nerves. when i eventually unblocked him, he'd reach out every six months or so "just to say hi". yea... ok *ignore*. at some point he stopped trying, and i stopped mocking him with my friends. now i can congratulate myself on not being so fucking desperate for a fuck to the point of ignoring all the bullshit... but damn did i have some interesting sexventures in college

sushi date

i met this guy online a couple weeks after a break up. i was looking for sex; he was looking for... who the hell knows... and maybe sex. after a few email exchanges, i invited him over for sushi. inviting men over is not normally my thing, but it worked out better for both of us timewise. we ate and talked in the kitchen. then we moved to the living room and talked some more.

he eventually offered me a back massage. i had been commenting earlier in the day that i was achey. everyone knows this is the universal male signal for "i'm going to try to get in your pants". i knew that going in, which is why i mentioned my back in the first place. this girl knows how the game is played. after an inner debate (he's cute. i'd fuck him. i'm just desparate. he's nice. we kinda click. eh just fuck him), i agreed to the massage. so we moved it upstairs

the massage was actually great, not the standard two minute rub followed by a trip south of the border. he was amused that i kept my bra on. i may love the horizontal mambo, but i'm still self conscious. somehow he convinced me to go topless... which led to making out... which led to that south of the border action

he was a bit overeager and rough while rubbing my clit. not entirely bad, but i was sore a few minutes later. i gave him head, and got a strange compliment. "i've never been with someone who didn't need at least one hand." yea, bitch. i am that awesome. after that, i was aching to fuck him, but he was super hesitant. i rolled on top of him a) for further coercion and b) to reach the condoms. he didn't realize what i was doing and minorly freaked out. so much for being sexy. i pulled out a condom, which calmed him but solidified his desire not to fuck me that night

we called it quits, got dressed and went back downstairs. the timing couldn't have ben better cause my roommate got home a few minutes later. T and i talked later in the week, but we never got together again. i was a little upset at first, but i got over it. my clit appreciates my decision to let him go

down the rabbit hole

halloween 2008 was a night of firsts. first time i dressed up for halloween in public since i was a little trick or treater. first time i'd been to baltimore for halloween. and the first time i'd brought a guy home with me...

i went out with J intending to only have a couple drinks then go home. too many beers and not enough food later, i decided to tag along when G swung by to pick her up. he brought his friend K out. we dropped off G's car at J's house then took a cab to fells point. spent a little time there before migrating to fed hill. going to fed hill there was inappropriate touching in the back of a cab. i ran into noble's to pee and lost J. on my way to look for her, i ran into K

"do you want to get out of here? go back to your place?"
"sure"

$50 cab ride (with quite a show for the driver) later, we stumbled into my apartment. he was a bit drunk so we fell asleep for a bit. woke up, took care of business and he left.

highs - hot guy in my bed, he didnt stay the night (no morning awkwardness), confirmed that ive still got skills
lows - he came on my favorite sheets, below average for me (although not the smallest), all about the booty

part of me wishes i had fucked him but he was too drunk for it to be any good. overall, im cool with what did happen. i really needed some trouble after those last few months of nothing

getting into trouble

i couldn’t sleep one night so i went on a walk around campus. i wound up at **** room, naturally he’d be up at 3am for no reason… and my trip was not entirely random. i couldn’t sleep because i was restless and **** owed me. while watching some dumb show, i convinced him to give me a back massage. there was some inappropriate questioning and the back massage led to him naked

after finishing with him, i couldnt resist teasing him a bit. people get somewhat ticklish after climaxing which amuses me to no end. so i kept running my fingers over his naked bits to watch him squirm. this somehow led to making out and me sans shirt

the only reason we didnt go any further was cause of my stupid brain. if id been thinking with anything else, id have fulfilled my purpose in coming over. instead… he asked if he should get a condom. rather than answer i continued doing what i was doing. my body said yes; my brain said maybe. he asked a couple more times. my body screamed yes; my lips said no. stupid boy asking questions. stupid brain answering

i still wish my brain’d been on board. i know he was not the most ideal partner for a few reasons but still. wouldve been fun