Showing posts with label unsexy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unsexy. Show all posts

March 18, 2011

hiatus

i had planned to write an actual post today, but a funny thing happened. i completely forgot what i was gonna write. ok, that's not funny or strange. but it is what happened. so i'm just popping by to tell you, i am on a break. midterms were last week, and they kicked my ass. this week has been better, but i'm still tapped for energy (and interesting things to say). next week is spring break so i'm just gonna dial it back on everything. heh maybe after this weekend, i'll have some more fun (or just relationshipy) things to share ;)

hope y'all have a fabulous weekend!

January 21, 2011

naked time

i spend about 10 minutes a day staring at myself in the mirror. typically, before or after a shower. sometimes both. about half that time is spent naked, staring at my stomach. stretching it. flattening it. from the left. from the right. boobs up. sucking in. attempting to get it as flat as possible. my belly is my problem area. i've been working hard to lose weight, and, yet, the belly remains. taunting me

i guess i should start using the past tense though. because i decided to put an end to this bad habit last week. i need to stop obessing over my midsection. it's a waste of time and a waste of energy

and i'm the only one who cares

when i was at J's, i caught my shadow at just the wrong angle. i then spent the next few minutes playing with my shadow belly. and J was standing across the room. i usually try to keep this shit underwraps. cause these are my insecurities. my soft spots that i really need for no one to poke. J watched me (i don't know how long), and all he said was "yes, baby, you are that sexy". i, of course, gave a "you'll say anything to keep me naked" response. because that little voice doesn't believe you. you can't see the way my belly contorts and my boobs flatten when you're pressed up against me. you can't see the way my ass wrinkles when my leg is at that angle. you see my hideous face and nothing more while you're thrusting deep inside me...

that voice needs to stfu. i know this, but it's hard to ignore. that voice has been with me my whole life. i'm working on it. replacing that voice with a new voice. because the rest of me wants to believe him and see what he sees