i've been so bad about updating the bedroom. things have been a bit hectic unfortunately. i did manage to squeeze in two back to back visits to J's at the beginning of july. the second trip had some rather interesting results...
remember how we were having some difficulty with anal, but finally got it figured out? well we did it again. all the planets aligned again for us. it was crazy and amazing all at the same time. i really don't know how deep he was; i wasn't quite processing data :P i do know that he managed to slide in pretty easily, not hurt me and finish. clean up was a bit interesting. thank god i remembered my pleasure wipes (seriously love slumber parties). they made it a bit easier, but i still kept thinking "there's jizz in my ass! what do i do about that?!" because yea, no condom. i'm thinking that's never going to happen again because i don't like the idea of sperm in my colon
the cool thing: no discomfort later. i kept expecting there to be some pain after the anal-eaze wore off, but there was nothing. perhaps he got the right amount of anal-eaze and lube in and around the area to compensate. or maybe i was more open than the last time. whatever it was, it was awesome and i hope there's a repeat in the future
the uncool thing: gas. i was tremendously bloated and gassy for a few days afterwards. it happened the first time, too. granted, both times occurred about a week before my period was starting so it could be related to that. unfortunately, i only know one other person having anal, and he doesn't have that problem. will have to test my "it's just my period" theory at some point
perhaps when J comes down for his birthday in a few weeks...
Showing posts with label first time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first time. Show all posts
October 1, 2010
May 14, 2010
backdoor bugaloo
let's not sugar coat the events; this is exactly what you think it is. the last cherry i had has been popped...
J came down last weekend for his last dentist appointment (boy really doesn't take care of his teeth) and to be lazy for a weekend with me. we went out friday to watch the games. he wanted to watch the celtics game, and conveniently the bruins were playing. saturday was avatar: last airbender and thai for dinner. sunday was brunch for mother's day. in between all the eating and lounging, there was the sexing. some days i just can't get enough of him ;) and this weekend, we made an attempt to cross that line
we'd tried before, but didn't get far. he wanted me on top, but i just couldn't manuever. i don't think i was mentally ready; plus i hate aiming. i feel like i'm masturbating with a real cock, and that's just weird. normally, his aim is amazing. he can slide in handsfree, which makes everything even more stimulating. but he was asking me to aim. eep and a half. needless to say, attempt one was a fail
this time around, equipped with a little anal-eaze, we made our second attempt. similar results as the first. i simply can't be on top right now. again we just went vaginal and moved on. i was determined though to accomplish the mission. so i whipped out one of my new books, flipped to the chapter on anal and started reading. i approach just about everything intellectually so reading basic instructions and suggestions was helpful. didn't take much convincing to get him back in the mood a little while later so we made our 3rd trip, this time with him on top...
SUCCESS... of sorts. he only breached with the head, but it was enough. unfortunately, because of our somewhat awkward positioning, he didn't finish inside me. but still, it was there and i was fine. since it was "just the tip", there wasn't any tearing or discomfort for me. it's enough to keep me wanting to go a little bit further. we'll slowly get all the way there, and see what happens. i'm still nervous (especially about topping. that definitely waits until we can get ourselves together lol), but i'm starting to enjoy the thrill more
J came down last weekend for his last dentist appointment (boy really doesn't take care of his teeth) and to be lazy for a weekend with me. we went out friday to watch the games. he wanted to watch the celtics game, and conveniently the bruins were playing. saturday was avatar: last airbender and thai for dinner. sunday was brunch for mother's day. in between all the eating and lounging, there was the sexing. some days i just can't get enough of him ;) and this weekend, we made an attempt to cross that line
we'd tried before, but didn't get far. he wanted me on top, but i just couldn't manuever. i don't think i was mentally ready; plus i hate aiming. i feel like i'm masturbating with a real cock, and that's just weird. normally, his aim is amazing. he can slide in handsfree, which makes everything even more stimulating. but he was asking me to aim. eep and a half. needless to say, attempt one was a fail
this time around, equipped with a little anal-eaze, we made our second attempt. similar results as the first. i simply can't be on top right now. again we just went vaginal and moved on. i was determined though to accomplish the mission. so i whipped out one of my new books, flipped to the chapter on anal and started reading. i approach just about everything intellectually so reading basic instructions and suggestions was helpful. didn't take much convincing to get him back in the mood a little while later so we made our 3rd trip, this time with him on top...
SUCCESS... of sorts. he only breached with the head, but it was enough. unfortunately, because of our somewhat awkward positioning, he didn't finish inside me. but still, it was there and i was fine. since it was "just the tip", there wasn't any tearing or discomfort for me. it's enough to keep me wanting to go a little bit further. we'll slowly get all the way there, and see what happens. i'm still nervous (especially about topping. that definitely waits until we can get ourselves together lol), but i'm starting to enjoy the thrill more
March 1, 2010
first for everything
me: "did you do what i think you did?!"
him: "what do you think i did?"
me: "what did you do!?"
him: "i don't know. what do you think i did?"
me: "you know what you did!"
him: "did you like it?"
me: "you did!"
charlotte: "what was that?"
samantha: "a preview"
we're entering new territory, and i'm definitely nervous
him: "what do you think i did?"
me: "what did you do!?"
him: "i don't know. what do you think i did?"
me: "you know what you did!"
him: "did you like it?"
me: "you did!"
charlotte: "what was that?"
samantha: "a preview"
we're entering new territory, and i'm definitely nervous
February 22, 2010
first time
[i posted this on an old journal over a year ago. at the time it was extremely difficult putting the experience into words. i've moved beyond this, but it still lives in my heart]
It's been hard thinking about this entry, but I feel obligated to deal with it now. Perhaps after I write this I can truly start to move forward... My first time has secretly been the happiest moment in my entire life. There was no Hollywood-esque glamour; no candle light or Barry White. He simply asked if I wanted to and I said sure. What I remember...
My boyfriend at the time came to pick me up for Thanksgiving break. My roommate had left in the afternoon, but I wasn't leaving until the following morning (ah the 9am kick out). I think we went out for dinner and then headed back so I could pack. I popped in a Disney movie to give me an excuse to ignore my empty bags. Probably mid-movie, we were lying in bed when he asked. I'd been wanting to for months, but it wasn't quite possible with him 3 hours away. The only thing that really concerned me was this would be the first time we'd be completely naked with each other. The whole experience would be a new level of intimacy and naturally I was self-conscious of my body... I remember it wasn't as painful as I'd expected, just this weird pulling (almost burning) sensation. He went slow and kept checking that I was ok. At one point, I thought about stopping, but I thought about the end and decided it would be worth a little discomfort. When we finished, I actually checked the sheets for blood. I was convinced there would be a ton (don't ask me why) but there was absolutely nothing. A few months prior, he'd actually torn my hymen while doing other stuff, but I didn't realize he'd completely broken it. No hymen, no blood, no freaking out about my favorite white sheets.
A little bit later, he asked if I was ok (yep) and then asked if I wanted to do it again (yep). Unfortunately for him, he'd only had one condom. So I sent my poor boy out into the snowy Huntingdon streets to get condoms from Big Sheetz. After 40 minutes I freaked out that he'd driven in to the side of someone's house and called. Apparently, not only did he get lost going to the Sheetz, but he'd driven the wrong way on a one way street coming back. He got back with a mini pack and we joked about me trying to explain to his mom what happened had he not returned safely. We didn't immediately go for it again, but we eventually did it twice more and still had enough energy to watch Beauty and the Beast. By the third time, there wasn't a weird burning feeling and my orgrasm was more intense. I'm sure anyone left on the floor heard me...
The next morning is what makes this... I finished packing (finally) at 2 or 3 am and we somehow managed to both sleep in my dorm bed semicomfortably. I woke up first and took a moment to think about the silly snoring boy next to me. Looking at him, at that exact moment, I absolutely knew I loved him and I would never love him more than I did then. In the very next heartbeat, I knew it was over. Something had changed and we would never work out. But I tucked those feelings away and got ready to leave campus.
Two weeks later, he ended it.
I'm not upset about the way things played out. The end would've happened at some point no matter what I did to stop it. I was lucky enough to have one final special moment before it did. I don't regret a single thing about that night... well maybe sending him out into the snow in the middle of the night... I'm glad my first happened when it happened with someone I cared about and who cared about me. Part of my feelings about it are rooted in my views on sex/sexuality. I make a conscious effort to avoid the cliches of sex because I don't believe in many them. If a person chooses to have intercourse, to me that's all it is. I don't think you're any more or less of a person, and I don't think you're losing a piece of yourself in the act. My virginity was not something I cherished; I didn't hold it close to me or flaunt it around. Yea it was mine, but there was no war or invasion to claim it from me. It was simply something I no longer needed to have in my possession, and I wanted to take the next step in my relationship.
My choice to leave the "V-club" was not hard to make; I know and respect that it's not easy for everyone. My only warning to those who haven't made it, the decision is twofold and both pieces are equally important. The decision to have sex is a huge hurdle to leap, but once you've decided you can make the jump, you have to think about who you can jump. In my opinion, the first time will make or break your sex life. But I also believe that when you embrace your sexual self (and aren't just trying to prove a point), the universe (or higher being of your choice) will hook you up with what you need.
M
It's been hard thinking about this entry, but I feel obligated to deal with it now. Perhaps after I write this I can truly start to move forward... My first time has secretly been the happiest moment in my entire life. There was no Hollywood-esque glamour; no candle light or Barry White. He simply asked if I wanted to and I said sure. What I remember...
My boyfriend at the time came to pick me up for Thanksgiving break. My roommate had left in the afternoon, but I wasn't leaving until the following morning (ah the 9am kick out). I think we went out for dinner and then headed back so I could pack. I popped in a Disney movie to give me an excuse to ignore my empty bags. Probably mid-movie, we were lying in bed when he asked. I'd been wanting to for months, but it wasn't quite possible with him 3 hours away. The only thing that really concerned me was this would be the first time we'd be completely naked with each other. The whole experience would be a new level of intimacy and naturally I was self-conscious of my body... I remember it wasn't as painful as I'd expected, just this weird pulling (almost burning) sensation. He went slow and kept checking that I was ok. At one point, I thought about stopping, but I thought about the end and decided it would be worth a little discomfort. When we finished, I actually checked the sheets for blood. I was convinced there would be a ton (don't ask me why) but there was absolutely nothing. A few months prior, he'd actually torn my hymen while doing other stuff, but I didn't realize he'd completely broken it. No hymen, no blood, no freaking out about my favorite white sheets.
A little bit later, he asked if I was ok (yep) and then asked if I wanted to do it again (yep). Unfortunately for him, he'd only had one condom. So I sent my poor boy out into the snowy Huntingdon streets to get condoms from Big Sheetz. After 40 minutes I freaked out that he'd driven in to the side of someone's house and called. Apparently, not only did he get lost going to the Sheetz, but he'd driven the wrong way on a one way street coming back. He got back with a mini pack and we joked about me trying to explain to his mom what happened had he not returned safely. We didn't immediately go for it again, but we eventually did it twice more and still had enough energy to watch Beauty and the Beast. By the third time, there wasn't a weird burning feeling and my orgrasm was more intense. I'm sure anyone left on the floor heard me...
The next morning is what makes this... I finished packing (finally) at 2 or 3 am and we somehow managed to both sleep in my dorm bed semicomfortably. I woke up first and took a moment to think about the silly snoring boy next to me. Looking at him, at that exact moment, I absolutely knew I loved him and I would never love him more than I did then. In the very next heartbeat, I knew it was over. Something had changed and we would never work out. But I tucked those feelings away and got ready to leave campus.
Two weeks later, he ended it.
I'm not upset about the way things played out. The end would've happened at some point no matter what I did to stop it. I was lucky enough to have one final special moment before it did. I don't regret a single thing about that night... well maybe sending him out into the snow in the middle of the night... I'm glad my first happened when it happened with someone I cared about and who cared about me. Part of my feelings about it are rooted in my views on sex/sexuality. I make a conscious effort to avoid the cliches of sex because I don't believe in many them. If a person chooses to have intercourse, to me that's all it is. I don't think you're any more or less of a person, and I don't think you're losing a piece of yourself in the act. My virginity was not something I cherished; I didn't hold it close to me or flaunt it around. Yea it was mine, but there was no war or invasion to claim it from me. It was simply something I no longer needed to have in my possession, and I wanted to take the next step in my relationship.
My choice to leave the "V-club" was not hard to make; I know and respect that it's not easy for everyone. My only warning to those who haven't made it, the decision is twofold and both pieces are equally important. The decision to have sex is a huge hurdle to leap, but once you've decided you can make the jump, you have to think about who you can jump. In my opinion, the first time will make or break your sex life. But I also believe that when you embrace your sexual self (and aren't just trying to prove a point), the universe (or higher being of your choice) will hook you up with what you need.
M
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