February 13, 2011

how do you sleep

this article was published last week. at first, i found it amusing. then i found it annoying. J sleeps on his back; i sleep on my stomach. sometimes i snuggle up close; sometimes i don't. i am not a sleep cuddler. i tend to get too warm, and prefer not being touched too much while sleeping. J also radiates a lot of heat. we'd both be sweaty messes if we slept tucked in to each other. plus we wouldn't be able to sleep because we'd be too damn hot. add to that the fact i'm a bit of a mover. it'd be extremely frustrating to be woken multiple times to stay cuddled because i shifted again. i never wake up in the same position i fell alseep in, but at least i stopped kicking people. lastly, my darling boy and are disproportionate in size. our bits cannot be lined up perfectly without someone (mostly him) being horribly uncomfortable. we're both not fans of sleeping on our sides so there is no classic spooning through the night

i like that when we get in bed, he throws an arm out so i can nestle up to his side for a bit. or sometimes, i'll curl up, hugging his arm and rubbing my noes on him like a kitten. sometimes we'll just lay next to each other, holding hands. the intimacy isn't dwindling, i'm not submissive and i'm most certainly not being neglected. i feel secure and loved. i love those quiet moments, when we're just lying together. before he makes his move. before our faces meet in the dark. before physical need consumes everything. it's those little moments that define our relationship and fulfill my soul's needs. just before he says what i already know. just as i'm drifting to sleep. just after i wake up next to him. all those moments are filled with love

he's my big spoon regardless of actual spooning. how we sleep is not a reflection on the state of our relationship. it simply reflects my need to contort myself in awkward ass positions, while staying just the right temperature. reading anything more in to that is just silly :p

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