February 4, 2011

not grandma's house

sometimes you have an itch. sometimes you can't self satisfy that itch. sometimes you drive over the mountain and through the fog to get a good scratch...

so i met this kid online randomly when i was bored. he went to a college "nearby" so we had something to chat about. one thing led to another, and we decided to meet. he didn't have a car on campus so i drove the hour and a half to him. i packed an overnight bag "just in case", but left it in the car. didn't want to be presumptious... or had an easy out if he turned out to be no good. we hung out, watching a movie in his dorm room. i put on my best coy face, and we started making out. it was decent, but tottering on too aggressive. no big; i can work with that. naturally, i got his pants off. and i had my first hesitation

damn those are tiny balls

like seriously, almost nonexistant. if i'd been at the right angle, i could've gotten both in my mouth with room to spare. unfortunately, we were making out on a bean bag chair (yea. awesome college "furniture") so i couldn't really test my theory without being super uncomfortable. i got him off, and we started another movie. i was impressed enough with his dick to stick around for more. we climbed into bed... literally. he had the top bunk... and started fooling around again. turned on? check. condom? check. not in danger of rolling off the top bunk? check. excellent; let's do this :)


um... who ordered the jack rabbit? ...oh, you're done?

worst. fuck. ever. he was done before i even got started. i don't even think i opened my mouth, and i'm a squealer. good thing the lights were off so he couldn't see my wtf face. then he had the nerve to ask how it was. i think i grunted a fine, rolled over and went to sleep. being the nice person i am, i hung around for a bit the next day. however, i was not too concerned a few days later when he figured we shouldn't date. i forget his stupid reasons, but my pussy was happy

until i had an itch... and he was available that summer... so at 1am, i drove over my absolute least favorite mountain, in the fog, to meet him at his parents' house. i thought i was gonna drive over the side of the mountain and never be heard from again. what a way to die... en route to a booty call. because, apparently, i'm the boy in this scenario so have to do all the driving. once again, i should've known better. he was being shiffty cause his parents were home, and i couldn't be seen or some shit. so i met him behind his house, we drove down the street to find an empty parking lot and fucked in my backseat. the sex was worth it this time, and i actually got off in the parking lot of a laundromat. i think i even complimented him on his improvement. we chatted for a bit before i took his ass home *sigh* what a girl does to get laid. at least i can say i've had sex in the backseat of a car. cross that off the list :p

a week later, he was talking again about how we couldn't be more than friends, he was getting back together with his girlfriend blah blah blah. i liked him, but not that much. i was more pissed off by being his distraction while his (ex)girlfriend got space or something. i temporarily blocked him from my AIM cause he was getting on my damn nerves. when i eventually unblocked him, he'd reach out every six months or so "just to say hi". yea... ok *ignore*. at some point he stopped trying, and i stopped mocking him with my friends. now i can congratulate myself on not being so fucking desperate for a fuck to the point of ignoring all the bullshit... but damn did i have some interesting sexventures in college

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