reflecting

(so maybe i'm sort of dead...) i'm always suprised when i respond to the question "how long have you been together?" because it seems like it's been forever. it also seems like i was just driving up to PA for the first time, nervous and excited, last weekend. we're coming up on two years, and i honestly don't know where the time has gone...

     trips up and down 83/backroads for birthdays, holidays, long weekends, moves and just because
          late nights talking about nothing and everything
     rocking out in the car on our way to concerts, the movies and the farmers market
          nooners
     lunch and dinner dates
          cooking together at home, finished off with fresh baked goodies
     hanging out with my family with a bushel of late season crabs
          bedtime sex
     minor disagreements
          passing out on the couch
     gaming, reading and napping
          morning sex
     skype dates keeping me up past my bedtime
          heated arguments
     snuggling til i fall asleep
          being too tired for sex
     meltdowns over school, friends and us
          football trash talk
     dreaming about our future
          waking up in the middle of the night for sex
     cooking out with friends
          shared indignation for the stupidity of others
     venting about work, school and life in general
          all the sex
     planning for things to come

i'm not known for my long relationships so i'm constantly amazed by us. looking back on my past, i know i haven't been the easiest person to date. i'm clingy, pushy, hostile, unaffectionate, obsessive... i've been blindsided by break ups. i've ditched guys because i wasn't willing to give my whole heart. i've been left behind because i was too stubborn/reluctant to pull the trigger

since then, i've learned and grown. i started truly focusing on myself. i stopped forcing the universe to meet my demands. suddenly, there's a new guy in my life, and i am increasingly happy. happy with the person i am and with the person i'm dating... sometimes that's what really surprises me. for all the ups and downs of the last (nearly) two years, i am the happiest i have ever been :) there are no happy endings. this is the happy beginning of the rest of my life